NOW I SLEEP!
Twenty four years. TWENTY FOUR YEARS! That is how long it had been
since I had gotten a good nights sleep. I have no idea what began this
lengthy bout of non sleep. Over the years, in some insipid way, it had
just become a part of my life.
What this lack of sleep did to my life is profound. There were months,
and years, when I couldn’t hold down a job. There were times when I
had to miss my children's events because I couldn’t keep my eyes open.
I cancelled, or opted out of, evening get togethers because I thought if I
went to bed earlier that I would have a better chance of getting more
sleep. That usually didn’t work out so well. Instead, I was just missing
out on life.
Naturally, my physical and emotional health suffered. I gained weight.
Who can exercise when they can’t stay awake? My adrenals were
fatigued, causing me to feel nauseous and suffer from headaches. Most
days I just didn’t “feel well”. I was irritable a lot. Several times over the
years I suffered from depression.
To combat this lack of sleep I turned to both Eastern and Western
medicine. I took prescription sleeping aids, herbal teas, herbal
tinctures, anti depressants…whatever anyone suggested-I was game! I
tried acupuncture and it helped..a little. I tried numerous products
touted to help me sleep. I exercised in the morning, then at night,
attempting to see what would work. I read HUNDREDS, if not
THOUSANDS, of articles and research on sleep. I accepted many, many
phone calls from friends and family offering well meaning advice. Still, I
did not sleep. I existed, plodding through life.
I had begun to accept that extreme fatigue was just my burden to bear
in life. It was just a part of me, or so I thought. I was frustrated with all
of the suggestions and resigned myself to just not feeling rested.
And then I was introduced to this product called Rest Well. To be
honest, I considered it just like I had every other product before it-can’t
hurt. Might as well give it a try. The difference, though, was that I knew,
and respected, Dr James Rouse. So I ordered Rest Well, determined to
give it a fair shot. My confidence was not exactly high.
I began drinking the Rest Well nightly and just the warmth and taste
were soothing. I did not notice anything right away in the quality or
length of my sleep. I stuck with it. About six weeks into the ritual of
drinking my Rest Well I was driving home from work around 6 pm.
Normally, at this point, I would be struggling behind the wheel of my
car to keep my eyes open. My main thought would be on how fast I
could get home, eat dinner and crawl into bed by 730 pm, in order to
get up and do it all over again the next day. But this particular evening,
as I drove, listening to a song on the radio and noticing the colors of the
sun setting, I realized something: I was wide awake! I was stunned. I
got home that evening and went for a walk. Then I paid attention to my
feelings the next day. My focus was noticeably better. I was getting
As my sleep improved, even more as the weeks progressed, I felt those
sleepless symptoms begin to vanish. Friends noticed that my skin was
brighter; I lost weight. My mood brightened. I felt ready to take on life.
I began working out consistently and that alone changed my life. I no
longer felt constantly drained of life.
There is no way to describe almost a quarter century of sleeplessness
and fatigue. It is beyond description. It is exhaustion and sadness and
illness and desperation. It is watching the world pass you by as you sit,
wishing for ANYTHING that could help. It is spending thousands of
dollars on a possible solution…and still not sleeping. It is wanting
people to stop saying that they understand, because there is no way
they can. It is praying constantly for a solution. It is apologizing and
There is also no way to describe what it is like to wake up one day and
realize that I had just slept through the night. How do I explain what it
is like, at 2 pm, to know that I have enough energy to get through the
rest of my day? It is like opening a gift on Christmas morning and
realizing that the gift is having my life back. It is laughing more, enjoying
more, accomplishing more, loving more, just BEING more..
I know now that exhaustion and lack of sleep are not mine..they are not
who I am. THIS is who I am..awake and alert and engaged.
I am forever indebted to Dr James Rouse and Rest Well for giving me
my life back. This little essay has been written with tears streaming
down my face because I am so grateful..and I am NOT tired. BRING ON